Uncyclopedia: Singapore

(Whenever I can't find a pic to place here, I place an LOLcat)

I was introduced to this link through a friend, an article in Uncyclopedia about Singapore. Very funny read. It contains everything from the Founding of Singapore to SBS Buses to Steven Lim. Here's a sample:

Also, SBS Transit (Si Beh Slow) buses always travel with the speed of a cyclist, and sometimes it will go so slow while approaching the traffic light while it's green, gaining only a few seconds of speed when the light turns yellow. When the traffic light turns red at that moment, the bus makes a brake so strong that it resembles braking a F1 racing sports car suddenly while in full throttle. SBS Transit's buses are also often old (their oldest bus is still in service since the end of World War II), and may be poorly maintained, with rusty poles and rainwater (which came in through leaky roofs) collecting inside their buses. SBS Buses come with 2 X 100" HD-III (5760 X 3240) Creative™ levitating holographic illumination displays with cinematic 10.1 Dolby Surround Sound for "TVmobile" shows.

Conversely, SBS Transit's arch-rival, SMRT's (pronounced: Ass M Mati) buses travel at the speed of light at the bare minimum, in an approach that is designed to set them apart from their arch-rival. This instantaneous burst of speed sometimes causes the buses to be dislodged in alternate realities or parallel universes. One of their longest record was 1 hour+ per interval. Often this is a very dark bus often took by spicy and hairy neighbours. Maybe it is too dark and the driver lost his way when the zerglings flood the bus with their spices and hair? This approach has made many fans out of their commuters, who switched to their buses after being pissed off at the way SBS Transit's buses are driven despite the fact that their buses are commonly infested with cockroaches (and sometimes, Grues), with air-conditioning that mimic Death Valley on hot days and Antarctica on cold ones, and a suspension system that's guaranteed to either aid in digestion or indigestion, depending on who you ask. Some of their newer buses are even designed by Pininfarina, the same Italian guys that designed the Ferraris, to ensure top performance at high speeds.

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